Final Post:

Thanks to all who've visited this blog and made my initial writing efforts a warm and welcomed success. The site has moved, in it's entirety to ramen-ravings.com.



Thank You.

Chester

Afterlife...

Afterlife: Where do we go from here:
In the song (which I still consider both terrible and an ear worm) “Hell” by Squirrel Nut Zippers, the lyrics flow as such “In the afterlife, you could be headed for the serious strife. Now you make the scene all day, but tomorrow there’ll be hell to pay. I interpret this to be a fairly plain representation of the Christian view of the afterlife. While you may be on top today, doing what you feel is fun and enjoyable. Tomorrow, you’re done. Burning, End Of Story. I received some very positive and loving feedback from my hubby’s mom yesterday RE: my religion post. She was under the impression that I was shocked by her directness. Honestly, I’m not, nor have I been. I actually value her directness, as when she shares a thought or opinion, you don’t have to dig through a layer of bullshit to find a hidden meaning. It’s not there, the meaning is right on top, staring you in the face.I did however, not feel that this was the most relevant question to ask the person your eldest son has committed themselves to, right at first meeting. She’ll likely disagree, and I respect and love her for that. Now then, moving right along. I’m going to open up this fire fight but simply stating, that in general terms, I don’t believe in the “literal and or literary versions of “Hell”. Allow me to elaborate. In the Old Testament of the Christian Bible (Using King James as point of reference/my fading memory), God would kick your ass. For the smallest infringement. God was all powerful, all knowing, and all vengeful. If you fucked up, you were done. You would be smited in any number of ways and you Knew you’d fucked up because you were getting smited. Now, why would an all knowing, all loving God, who created all things in kindness and love kick your ass so hard? Where’s the love in that? Flip to the New Testament. Jesus is introduced as the Sacrificial Lamb, the Messiah. He steps in, and puts a stop to the smiting shit. He turns it around, and in the end basically says, “okay, enough. I’m dying, so that you can live on forever”, however, we as a people still hold on the idea of “watch out, or God will smite your ass”. Again, why are we burning forever, if Jesus stepped in, took the hit for us, so that we don’t have to. Christianity is not alone in this outlook. I’m going to delve into that now, though I’m working solely through the power of the internet as I don’t have training/indoctrination into Hinduism, Islam, Judaism, and several others. I’m simply going to try to find, and then re-illustrate their viewpoints. I will close with my own.

I’m going to open with Islam, for reasons that are my own, and also as it’s very close to Christianity. Islam, like Christianity, states that there is a Paradise (Heaven) and Hell (eternal suffering). Islam also shares the believe of a “Day of Reckoning” (Day of Revelation) where Allah (God) will judge all of mankind, living and dead based on their deeds in life. Furthermore, Islam illustrates that those who are destined for Hell will actually start to suffer at the moment of death and interment.(For reference, for all information, I’m referencing the site http://www.religionfacts.com). These believes mirror Christianity and even add in a little extra suffering for good measure.

Next, I’m going to look at Judaism. To me, if I could have Chosen a religion to fall into and follow, it would have been Judaism. I say this for several reasons. If I recall correctly (questionable) it holds some of the oldest recorded religious texts. It doesn’t have versions or revisions. There is the Torah, and that’s it. It’s the historic and religious texts that Jesus learned from and followed. Alas, I’m not Jewish, so that’s sort of out. Anyway, without rambling more, Judaism doesn’t really have an “afterlife” reference. Unlike Christianity and Islam where leading a good life leads to a good afterlife, Judaism simply demands that you lead a good life. A direct quote “The Torah and Talmud alike focus on the purpose of earthly life, which is to fulfill one's duties to God and one's fellow man. Succeeding at this brings reward, failing at it brings punishment. Whether rewards and punishments continue after death, or whether anything at all happens after death, is not as important.” This to me, more closely aligns with my own personal outlook.

Ranking number three, in World Religion with more than 900 million followers, Hinduism is the religion and belief system that most confuses me. I admit this openly. Part of this is, I was raised in an Almost Christian faith (I say almost, others may say it differently). I was always raised monotheistic, and to this day, I still feel that I couldn’t meditate if every Buddha and Bodhisattva  descended from the heavens and sat upon my  head. Hinduism has many gods, for many things, and such a large and varied belief system that I feel, unless raised within it, you’ll simply never really grasp it. Now, Afterlife beliefs: Essentially, reincarnation, or not. Hinduism has a belief in Karma, or a persons moral actions, that good or bad have an immediate effect on the person's life. With Karma, if you have lead a life, that fulfills your purposes (Plural!) on this earth, then your soul escapes the cycle of rebirth and continued suffering. If however, you fail to meet one or more conditions to escape rebirth, your ass is coming back, and you have to try again.

The last belief system I’m going to address isn’t so much a religion (to me), but a philosophy, and a way to lead and live life. I’m addressing Buddhism. One of the basic teachings is that life is shit. Life is suffering. The purpose of life, is to alleviate suffering wherever you find it. Yes, this is a Very distilled, and very crass version of the basic tenet. Afterlife, as quoted: “According to Buddhism, after death one is either reborn into another body (reincarnated) or enters nirvana. Only Buddhas - those who have attained enlightenment - will achieve the latter destination.” So, with leading a pious, caring life. doing whatever possible to relieve suffering wherever you find it. Studying, meditating, and other practices can all help a person attain enlightenment, and thereby escape the cycle of death and rebirth and end the cycle of suffering for that soul.

Having read this far, first, you deserve a hug. Second, I have to now share My viewpoints. I feel that the soul is most closely compared to energy/matter. In science, we’re taught that matter can neither be created nor destroyed. This is the principle of mass conversion. So, while I may have a soul, or whatever label you wish to put on it. It’s not really going anywhere. The physical body that I inhabit, it’s Definitely falling apart, trust me, at 40, I’m feeling it. However, my “soul”, or what makes up who I am, in every fiber of my “self”, the good bits, the bad bits, and the bits that fall in between, it is simply “there”. It may go on, to live another cycle, it may not. I don’t hold a firm belief to that. I simply hold tight to the tenet that I need to lead as good of a life now, while I can, simply because that’s the purpose Of my life.

Religion In My Eyes

To quote John Dewey “The time to strike is while the iron is hot.” Yesterday, I broke through on of the unspoken taboos of discussion among friends and family. I touched upon politics, specifically Marriage. Today, I’m going to address religion. This may make you “unfriend” me on Facebook, or it may have no effect at all. If it makes you think, about Anything I’ve said, then I’ll have accomplished my goal.
As I mentioned, I’ve been with my partner (husband) Eric for over 12 years. When we first decided to become a dedicated to each other couple, I sat him down, and read him the laundry list of Everything I’d learned about myself from my prior relationships. I explained everything that I was told made me a bad partner, and all of the faults that I’d identified within myself, up to that point. I also explained that I had every intention to move back to Pennsylvania, to be near family as the kids were young and would be growing up fast. My eldest niece graduated high school this year and starts college in the fall. Shockingly, to me at least, he not only agreed to be my partner knowing all of my downsides, but he also agreed to accompany me to PA, with nothing more concrete than “I have a friend we can crash with”.
On the way up, we stopped to visit his mom, who at the time lived in Tennessee. Now, before I mention another word about his mom, I personally think she’s a lovely woman. If anything I say comes off different, please, just refer back to that sentence. We pull into her driveway, Eric, myself and our dog Tank. She has us stow our bags, and invites us into the kitchen. I of course am nervous, as I’m old fashioned, and I’d like to have my spouses parents like and and or approve of me at least a little. Well, it didn’t quite shake out that way right away. The first question was not a warning shot across the bow, it was a bomb, to the face. “Are you a Christian?” Now, first of all, religion isn’t’ what I was expecting. I was expecting things like “What are your plans for my son”, or “How will you ensure that he’s taken care of”, or “Are you sure you’re good enough for him”. But no, I got “Are you A Christian”. I like to designate the A Christian versus Christian. I will elaborate on that soon. Slammed with what to me was such a bomb question, up front set the tone for how the visit would go. I will be completely honest. After that, my expectations plummeted, but the visit was very, very pleasant. We went for sushi (which I believe she enjoyed), we did a bit of shopping and we mostly hung out and were friendly. But to go back to my initial confrontation, when hit with that question, I can only answer No. I am not “A Christian”, though I do hold some of the teachings of the historical figure Jesus Very near and dear to my heart, I generally speaking don’t go to church, I don’t tithe, I don’t shout “Praise the Lord”, and or “Hallelujah” at each success. I’m not saying that people who do these things are wrong in any fashion, it’s just not what I feel is what was taught by Jesus. If I have to Label myself as having a religion, and I generally don’t like labels, I’m going to quote the Dalai Lama “My religion is simple. My religion is Kindness”. I think first and foremost, Jesus, the teacher, (Rabbi as he Was Jewish) taught kindness above all else. He didn’t teach fear, he didn’t teach punishment, he didn’t teach isolationism and radicalism. He taught us to care for the sick, the elderly and the poor. To go out of our way, every day, to try to make someone else’s day a little bit better. I am NOT going to lie. Everyone has bad days. I am in no way a saint. There are days that i’m a disagreeable asshole, and there are days that making someone smile, for what I may consider nothing more than trying to be helpful the greatest thing I’ve done that day.

I Love the teachings of the historical figure of Jesus, and also many of the teachings of the current Dalai Lama. I however don’t subscribe to “Organized Religion”. I don’t feel that having a Labeled religion is going to make my life any better or any worse. Many people will label themselves as “A Christian” and here’s another quote. From “The Princess Bride” Inigo Montoya,
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. To me, a person designated as “A Christian” is choosing to put themselves before the teachings of Jesus. They want to be labeled, and recognized as being better than someone or something. They may or may not follow the teachings of kindness, of doing for those less fortunate than themselves. One day, Eric and I were leaving the mall after having had lunch and or dinner, whichever, didn’t matter. but there was a severely sunburned gentleman standing at the exit, panhandling with a sign that proclaimed him as a Gulf War Vet who was both unemployed and Homeless. Everyone who knows us knows we aren’t exactly drowning in cash. We did still stop, and give him what his expression told us was a substantial amount of money, and I wished him to have a better day than he’d been having up to that point. Some people will say “I don’t give money to beggars/bums, etc whatever label makes you feel better about yourself. “They’re only going to use it to buy booze, or drugs, or god knows what”. Okay, who are You to judge? The gentleman that I gave money to, I didn’t say, “Now make sure you get sunblock and water sir, and maybe a bible”. I simply wished for him, sincerely, that at least That one day was better.That to me is an act of Christianity, of Christ, of Kindness. I live in PA, in Lancaster county. We have some beautiful old, very elaborate churches. We also have Amish people, who practice their faith in simple, white washed 1 room buildings. Now, Unless God’s into fashion, what makes one type of religious building better than another? Jesus often spoke of piety and sacrifice, however, when we practice our faith, we surround ourselves in opulence. We put on our “Sunday’s Best”. Some people will drive up to two hours to go to a “Mega-Church” because it’s “So Beautiful inside and out”.  Me, if I want to try to touch base with whatever higher being is out there, possibly donating a passing thought my way. I do it in the car, or at home, or in bed, or even on the toilet.  So, you can label me as you like, you can label me “Christian”, or “Buddhist”, or “Recovering Agnostic” or whatever makes you feel better.As long as I know, that I’m trying to make the world a better place, in what ever small way that I can, I know I’m doing it right.

Keep your labels to Yourself

I’m writing today about a topic that is easy for some, difficult for others. I’m talking about marriage. Many people will say to their friends who happen to be in a relationship with a person of the same gender “Oh, I think “gay marriage should totally be legal” or “I support “gay marriage”. Fuck that. I don’t Want a “gay marriage”, I don’t want a “same sex marriage”. I want a marriage. Just because the person that I want to marry happens to be of my same gender doesn’t make us special, or in any way less entitled. If you were to view a married couple, made up of opposite genders and Also of opposite ethnic origins, would you call it a “bi-racial marriage” or an “african-american and white marriage” or an “Asian and Hispanic marriage”? No, you’d call it a marriage, as it conforms to the standard acceptable vision of what marriage is. Now, let’s look at “marriage”. Many people today in the U.S. have been divorced. Some more than 1 time, some several times. Did you forget, that you swore an oath, before your god, your state, and your friends gathered before you, that it was “Until DEATH do us part”? Was there an unspoken subtext that also included “or until it becomes inconvenient for either of us”?

Now, I have been with the same individual for over twelve years. We own a home, we share pets, we share internet, we share a bedroom. What we don’t share, is the same acceptance that our friends and family get, simply because we both happen to have an X and a Y chromosome, instead of one of us having double XXs. Our relationship isn’t a “gay” relationship”, it’s not a “homosexual relationship”, it’s a loving relationship, of Over a decade. I don’t want to get Gay married, I don’t want to get Same-Sex Unioned. The fact that we may have intimate relations randomly is no ones business and should have no bearing on the fact of our commitment to one another. What I want is marriage Equality, I want the Same Marriage as anyone else can get, perhaps without a few of the preceding divorces, and possibly without the “god and country” bits.

I feel that until people realize that what we want isn’t “special, different, or alternative”. What we want is equal, Not separate but equal (as that’s also not equal). I’d like for everyone who has access to read this, and share this. Spread the words, Gay marriage is not marriage, it’s a label that people want to place on us, to isolate us, to keep us different. To me, a label of “gay marriage” is equivalent to sewing a pink triangle to the chest of all my shirts (look it up).

Luxury Ramen. Tastebuds Explode In joy

Nongshim Black: The Ramen Lover’s Ramen.

First, some introductions. Nongshim is a ramen manufacturer from Korea, that also has operations in the U.S. I first experienced them back in 1992 when I was stationed in Korea, with the Army. To say that this is “Deluxe Ramen” is an understatement. To many, it’s also an oxymoron, as in, how can ramen, something that we can buy for as little as 20 cents per pack be “deluxe”. In the U.S. “ramen” is more or less ubiquitous with Nissan Brand’s Oodles of Noodles, (what it was titled when I was a kid) and to me, the lower quality “Maruchan, Smack Ramen”. This ramen (written as ramyun by the company, and as it’s spelled in Korea) is so far above this salt and fat leaden calorie trap, that to really compare them is as if to compare diamonds with damp mud. As I've stated, I first tried this ramen back in ‘92 in Korea, and up until this point, I was only familiar with Oodles of Noodles brand. There was, on every base and sub-post in Korea, a cantina, or Korean cantina as we took to calling them. In this little restaurant/snack shop, I could drop down about 2.25 in 1992 dollars and get a good steaming bowl of spicy ramen loaded with cooked egg and topped with cheese, and additionally, the Korean version of Orange Crush soda. Anyone who knows me, will know that I ate this at least 4 times per week, if not more. When I got a little more acclimated to being in a foreign country, and decided not to be “the Ugly American” that we were all warned not to be, I started exploring the town around my base and eventually made my way to the open air markets. It was here that I learned that the ramen I was getting made for me at the cantinas was actually available retail, in cases of 20 for about 15 dollars American. Those of you who are paying attention will realize that that’s about 75 cents per pack, nearly 4 times the value of ramen in the states. The thing is, this is Not american ramen, not by any stretch. The noodles themselves are thicker, and chewier, and actually require a longer cook time. The “soup base” that we also simply call the “chicken salt packet” is so red with ground chili that you simply know your tastebuds are in for a beating. Additionally, Koreans being on a peninsula are more prone to use seafood flavors than they are domesticated animal flavors such as beef, pork, or chicken and they Certainly won’t have an “Oriental” flavor.
The main flavors of instant ramen as it’s called that I’d experienced both in Korea, and since are “Hot and Spicy” and “Kimchi” flavor, which, is, basically hot and spicy with an alternate vegetable pack. This brings me to the NongShim Black. First, in my FLAG (Friendly Local Asian Grocery) I didn’t find this brand as a case of 20, only a 4 pack, and there was no clear price labeled. Yes, I should have realized that this was a warning sign. I get to check out, with my other purchases, and when the ramen is rung up, I get to see the sticker shock. 6.99 for a 4 pack of ramen. Yep, $1.75 per pack, for ramen. Now, this is by far Not the most I’ve spent on ramen. I’ve bought Japanese brands of ramen that went for upwards of $4 per pack. This was however, the most I’d paid for Korean ramen. Another thing I noticed was, there was no description of the flavor contained within. Simply “Black”. Now, I tried “Coke-Blak” several years ago, where it was coke mixed coffee and sold for large amounts of money. It was also rather terrible. So I get home, I unload my groceries and plan my ramen dinner for the next day. The package of Nongshim Black actually features beef marrow bones and garlic. Now I had an idea of what flavors I was in for. Rich beefy flavor with potentially the Koreans love of Lots of garlic. My first surprise was that this package actually 3 flavor packs, 2 of which were powders and 1 of which was the “vegetable packet”.
Nearly every brand of ramen that I’ve purchased in the past 20 years (outside of American brands) feature only 2 packets, 3 for “deluxe Japanese brands that feature a flavor oil”. Never have I had 2 powder plus a vegetable pack, so this was interesting. Also of note, was the second powder pack was not translated to English, it was simply labeled “Seol Long Tang”. Having Just read the Wiki article on this particular Korean phrase, I now know that my translation of the packet was accurate, it’s ox bone soup base. Again, this is a first for me in Korean ramen, and it made a Huge difference. What this particular soup packet added to my once simple bowl of spicy ramen was a thickness of flavor, a richness in the broth that I’d not experienced before. This was, without a doubt, simply the best ramen that I’d ever had. If I had to give this ramen a comparison rating versus other instant ramen that I’ve had, excluding American versions, I’d have to rate it between an 8.5 and a 9.5 out of 10. I will require further “tastings” to refine that. I will also not buy any other flavor of Nongshim brand ramen. Once you’ve had the best, anything else is simply not worth the money or the effort. My next favorite Nongshim ramen would be the Kimchi flavor, and in comparison, that’s about a low 7 on the 10 point scale. Basically what I’m saying here is, if you love, or even like instant ramen you owe it to yourself to purchase at least one pack of this type, simply to experience “luxury ramen”. I looked up the company’s information and also information on this specific type of ramen from them, and it turns out that it’s a release to celebrate the 25th anniversary of the company, and that this flavor specifically was in development for over three years. That’s some damned good ramen.

Bipolar: Bipolar & Me

I sometimes talk about being bipolar. I often wonder if other  people really know what it’s like, really have an idea of what it’s like to be inside my head. I've decided to make a post, to illustrate, to some degree what that’s like. Anyone who knows me, I mean Really knows me, knows that I suffer from low self-esteem, even at 40. I have issues with self worth, and I don’t see myself as creative,  at all, except once in awhile, in the kitchen. I have no hobbies, I've tried and failed at more hobbies in 3 years than most people will contemplate ever. This perceived failure is only exacerbated, for me, by having a wonder partner, who happens to be, to me, very creative, and very talented. I get honestly jealous to the point that I put on my rage-face. Very recently, I visited my favorite internet forum hangout. I asked for help in finding a hobby, but let people know that I have no talents and that I generally suck. I got Lots of very positive feedback, but not super realistic. Some things like rock climbing for example, just aren't going to happen overnight, and I have a very short window for satisfaction. A few of the responders however, suggested writing. I've dipped my toe into this pool in the past, but never to any real Effort. I’d tried my hand and churned out a few dozen pages of really bad fan-fic.  Fortunately for me, the same forum I turn to for advice when I’m in the pit of a bipolar depression cycle Also happens to have a forum dedicate to writing and people who wish to talk, think and or share about writing. What a wonderful group of folks they turned out to be. I gently stepped into the open discussion thread, shared an idea, got some feedback on that idea and set about to  putting thoughts onto paper. What came from this was my first successful attempt at the story that I’m now writing. I was Super proud of this, this was my story, this was the world that I wanted to build and these were the people that I wanted to populate it with. The one thing I also did however, was fill it So full of specialized jargon, that folks who knew me, and knew how my thoughts normally went, couldn't make heads or tails of it. Being me, I of course, blamed the person reading it, in that they “just weren't the right audience”. Later, I found another discussion thread with only one rule. Post Only the first three sentences of your opening paragraph, and only post them if you’re ready for honest critique. Holy Shit. I got Hammered. I generated about 10 responses, which for a thread by me, is a lot. Several were completely off point, and didn't get it at at all. One was very close to where I was going, but explained that it was simply too full of jargon for an average person, and the final totally got everything but even admitted that it was super full of specialized jargon. So to me, what was an introduction to this wonderful world, was actually just me throwing about keywords and lingo that really only made sense to me, and wouldn't honestly amount to much of anything. So, I took all of the feedback as positive, as it was, regardless of the words used, and turned it into More creative energy. I completely rewrote Everything, and wrote more and more and more. I passed this new, revision 1a on to a different person and the feedback was immediate. Not only did things make sense, but the ideas flowed together, the characters were something she could care about and the plot hooks were set so deep that when I asked the most important question “Would you buy this from Amazon for three bucks, just to finish the story?” I was met with a resounding “Yes”.

Now, up to this point, I haven’t really touched on the rollercoaster shit-train that is my bipolar. I was So charged up. I wrote over 3700 words in 1 day. more than 8 pages in MS Word, and what I consider to be about 1.5 chapters. I've introduced characters and plots, and plots within plots. I was riding so high, nothing would bring me down. Then I had to drive home. My drive home is 11 miles. It takes roughly 38-45 minutes depending on lights, and Horse & Buggy interference. It’s during this time, that the Other side of my bipolar kicks in. The doubt, the fear, the insecurity, the self-loathing. I went from being the most proud I've ever been of anything I've done simply for myself in over 20 years, to wallowing in doubt and being near tears. What was I thinking? I couldn't finish this. There’s no way I can show this to people! What if someone doesn't like it? I’ll be crushed!. All of these thoughts assaulted me, all at once, completely unbidden. What went from one of my best days was quickly turning into one of my worst, all due to a chemical imbalance, that try as I might, I really have no control over. Yes, I take my medication every day, twice a day, as prescribed. I take around 10 pills on a normal day, up to 15 on a Really bad day. Just because my brain is a little off. So for me, this is bipolar, you get to have your cake, and get it shit on too. One minute you’re a star in your own mind, and the next, a penniless hobo looking for ideas in the gutters of the internet.